Essay 3 rough draft

What we did in class, today – We worked on the rough draft of Essay 3. Khaleel in Section 55 was kind enough to share his outline and rough draft with the class. His outline is below:

  1. Introduction: Ivory poaching is leading to the extinction of the African elephant.
  2. There is a high demand for ivory tusks.
  3. As a consequence of the high demand for ivory, poachers kill African elephants to remove their tusks.
  4. The removal of African elephants’ tusks has led to the deaths of many of these elephants.
  5. The increasing number of deaths will eventually lead to the extinction of the African elephant.
  6. Conclusion

His rough draft, which was edited by Section 3 students, is below. Note that he has avoided plagiarism by paraphrasing and letting the reader know where he found his information.

     The author of the Wikipedia article “Elephants” states that scientists have identified two major species of elephants. Both species are herbivores, and although they are found in different terrains, they both like to be around water. However, the similarity ends there. The first, the Asian elephant, is found primarily in southeast Asia in India and Sri Lanka. These elephants are used as farm animals. The African elephant is found on a different continent, Africa. According to Wikipedia, they are the largest mammals on land, often weighing 7,000 kilograms. Unfortunately, ivory poaching is leading to the extinction of the African elephant.

     There is a high demand for ivory tusks. (CITE THE AUTHOR OF THE ARTICLE WHERE I FOUND THIS INFORMATION), buyers in China and other southeast Asian countries are always on the look out for ivory that can be carved into religious statues and ground into medicine. For this reason, George Wittemeyer, a Colorado State University professor, writes that ivory traffickers know that they can sell illegally poached ivory for thousands of dollars. For example, (FIND AN EXAMPLE OF HOW MUCH ONE POACHER WAS ABLE TO MAKE IN A YEAR.)

As a consequence of the high demand for ivory, poachers kill African elephants to remove their tusks. The poachers are not interested in the body; they only want the tusks. (CITE THE AUTHOR OF THE ARTICLE WHERE I FOUND THIS INFORMATION), they often cut the African elephant’s face off so that they can quickly and easily remove the tusks. It is also common for them to kill an elephant calf so that they can lure the cow out of hiding and kill her and remove her tusks.

The removal of African elephants’ tusks has led to the deaths of many of these elephants. According to data from Save the Elephants, poachers kill an elephant every 20 minutes. This same site also states that more than 30,000 African elephants died as the result of poachers last year. According to National Geographic, this is why the 1.3 million elephants in 1970 has decreased to only 600,000 currently. Consequently, at this rate of extinction, the African elephant will disappear from the continent in the next several years.

To conclude, the disappearance of the African elephant can be traced to ivory poaching. Consumers in China and other Asian countries have created a booming market for ivory products Consequently, ivory poachers room the African savannas searching for elephant herds that will bring them thousands of dollars once these animals have been slaughtered for their tusks. The once large herds of African elephants are being slaughtered at such a high rate that they will disappear in a few years. As can be seen, soon only the Asian elephant will be left.

Homework

  • Read at least three Achieve3000 articles and do the corresponding Activities before midnight on Friday, March 6.
  • Revise your rough draft.

What we will do in class on Monday, March 9 – During the first half of the class, we will write our final draft of Essay 3 and submit it on our flash memories. Afterwards, we will work on our reading skills.

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